Thursday, April 15, 2010

mirrorboy! :D

Lol :D

Yup im here, at his house alone (even the cats walked out on me :O ) waiting for mirrorboy to get back from school :S miss him already XD <3

Its been fun, but one cant help but think about the course he should be doing in the time he sees his boyfriend :S Dad and mum knew about me leaving this time and put loads of pressure on me but of course I chose my love over anything else, he is the most important thing to me :) <3.

I promised myself I would study while he was at school to make up for not being in sydney doing my studies like I should be, but his computers dont support the virtual machines/labs that i use to study...i'll keep trying to get it working otherwise i'll be forced to study in a very boring/theoretical way which is how you should NEVER study computers. Plus I didnt pack enough books to study that way due to my baggage limits on the flight here (not to mention PHYSICAL limits :O ).

Anywayz, i am able to phase that stuff out of my mind when he is here with me, and that way i am extremely happy and calm/relaxed.

Talking footy, my nrl team has won 1 game and lost 4 this year (3 straight to this day) upsets me but i have faith in them even tho they are equal last on the ladder. They have a tough task this sunday against the rabbitohs but im sure the eels have improved, are equal to the task and will win it for me and all the other die-hard fans who have suffered as i have this year after they went so well last year...

Yeah so that should do it for now, if i find the time for another post, i will post and so will mboy :). Im going to get back to trying to get these virtual machines working, wish me luck!

lots of love,


P.S. MANY MANY thanks to pinstripe (or as he is known to me, 'Lach') for his support once again in transport through melbourne. love ya mate.

Sunday, April 4, 2010


lol this is an easy post :)

HAPPY EASTER everyone!!! have a fun chocolate-filled day and dont hold back, its easter!!

on the flipside, almost a week til i see mboy :)

love you all..


Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Woah! im back...

hey everyone!

God-dammit i almost forgot my blog address :O its been that long. Im so sorry my loyal followers, things have been pretty hectic and in the midst of it all i forgot entirely about my blog.

Anywayz here i am and heres whats happenin!

Firstly, u'd all be glad to know (i sure as hell am) that im going to see mboy again in april! it feels like its been ages and i miss him so much i dont know how i'll leave melbourne again =/.

Secondly, college/school/whatever u wana call it, lol its been tough and unfortunately ther hasnt been much success. I put it down to playing too much games and not balancing study with it so i had to give up something extremely important to me + mboy--- WoW. Yes i was a 'crack for gamers' addict and it has been really tough, iv been so bored but im hanging in there.
Ironically, i played that game so much that iv found it hard to fill all the time! Iv been able to get things done but then when theres nothing to do, i am a bit sad. It was hard for mboy to accept (i mean it was around 90% of how we communicated) and i had to discuss over the phone with him for hours- it was a big thing in our relationship and very very hard to let go becoz of that.
Something had to be done, however, becoz my family is on my back about my course now and there is a deadline for me to finish this course....heaps of exams to do and they must be done. Heres how i put it- lose the computer or quit wow so i quit wow becoz if i lose the computer then its VERY little communication with mboy and absolutely no leisure.
yeh so that was the big 1.

Thirdly, footy season is back! a good thing, an AWESOME thing i cant wait for my parramatta eels to lift that nrl premiership this year :) good thing about the footy being back is that i can use it as motivation to study and i havnt copped quiting wow as bad becoz footy has been there for a little bit of the time and its something i deeply enjoy to watch. rugby league has got to be the best sport on the planet :P dunno what im gonna do without it in melbourne lol.

Fourthly, something really surprised me the other day. I wanted to give something back to the community. I had done community service before (night patrol and buddies days) and they made me feel good inside. Sure, gays can do that. But something i find a major issue is-- we cant give blood! Now this has got to be discrimination, and its not like me to be political/legal but something has to be done about it! I waited over an hour just to be interviewed so i cud give my blood for the greater good. I filled in their forms, weighed myself in, had plenty of food and water and then they looked at my questionnaire and said becoz i had 'male to male sex in the past 12 months' ticked they wudnt allow me to give blood. Something i didnt take too well becoz whats the difference if a heterosexual couple does 'gay' sex? The risks are the same, so this is discrimination. I told mboy and he totally agreed! at least 10% of the population are gay and they cant give blood unless they giveup sex! and they say they need more blood donors.....
The thing that bothered me most about it is that i had been tested the previous week for STIs and everything and nothing came back positive, yet they wont allow a healthy person whos had sex with a guy to give blood. Anywayz, enuf on the blood-doning-bullcrap i can live with it =/.

Yeah so thats mainly whats been happening over the past few months. Its gone fast, but now the days between me seeing mboy again are going slow =/ i dont expect any forgiveness from you my followers, i will just say sorry and iv noticed that the blogworld has been quiet lately so it wasnt a good thing to not be posting.

love y'all <3

Friday, January 1, 2010

Been a while, hasnt it?


2009 was an eventful year.
You can think in many ways, here in australia how it was eventful with the swine flu, the heat waves (hottest ever november), the death of celebrities like MJ, the Victorian Bushfires and many many more things that i fail to mention.
But 2009 was also an eventful/changing year for many individuals.

For me, 2009 was the year i finally got to learn about what i love in more depth (computers lol).
It brought me confidence in my sexuality, and coming out to admit it then following through- and this made me prove to myself i can be independent and make my OWN choices in life.
It brought me love i thought i would never receive, let alone give to someone else in ways unknown to me.
It brought me a blog, and a network of blogs, with thousands of people supporting each other as well as providing support/advice themselves and sharing personal experiences.
It brought me back (EXTREMELY RECENTLY) my passion for the cello. My god i missed playing it so much and now that i successfully tuned it i am playing it for hours a day :)
It brought among me the loss of my grandpa (his funeral was yesterday) and great grandpa- these are awful events but they helped me reveal to myself and others my sensitive side and mental toughness.
From all the compliments and encouragement, i have developed a high self-esteem- i trule believe in myself and am starting to love what i can do.
And last (that i can think of) but not brought me my first ever real relationship with anyone. Love feels great, it brings happiness to both parties and also a hell of a lot of trust and forgiveness and these are things i am learning as we move forward.

It was a hell of a year for many, like my poor mboy, but 2010 is a nice fresh start for us all and hopefully this will also be an eventful/changing year for all of us- but this time in many good ways.

I know you all are going to backlash when i say this, but apologies for the slow blog posting :)

Love you all, HAPPY NEW YEAR once again <3


Thursday, December 17, 2009

Back home...

Thats right, bitboy is back home. D:

It was so hard to leave mboy's place yesterday. I loved being there with him, his mum and even his annoying (at times) cats :P. I wish I could stay there forever, snuggling/kissing him in bed but my parents were upset and worried enough as it is, plus iv got a course here to do so i can get a job :P. I havent gone to sleep yet becoz i cant, i miss being there by his side sleeping there with him and its getting to me.

The trip back was hot, very hot (40 DEGREES!!) and i was sweating like a pig when i got home lol. I am thankful for all the help offered to me by a friend of mboy's named Lach who literally saved me heaps of cash giving me a lift to and from the airport and even showing me a good time in melbourne. Much appreciated Lach, you will always be a good friend of me and mboy! :)

Anyways, the train to melbourne was taking ages, so i took the time to read a book i had for a while called Tuesdays with Morrie written by Mitch Albom. I will never forget this book it has been so inspiring and life-changing for me and will always try to recall everything i have learnt in it about the meaning of life. R.I.P Morrie Schwartz.

About the parents reaction when i got home...
I walked into the office to find dad both mad and upset. Mad because he believes im neglecting my course by taking a short break, and upset because i never contacted him and worried him (which i feel bad about, but they made me do it). On the other hand, coming home to mum she was perfectly fine, i can even use the computer now because i know the passwords and im trying to get this computer running fast again. Of course she was upset about me not contacting her either, but there were emails sent and shes just happy to see me fine (plus shes tired so she couldnt really care lol).
So the parents reaction i sum up with 'meh' because im barely with dad and he is the upset/mad one whereas i live with mum most the time and she seems okay with how everything panned out. Even my homophobe brother has changed his ways since i got home :O hes actually being a good brother now and some1 handy to spend time with :).
So back on the home front, things seem to be okay, and i hope you are glad to hear this mboy, tho you wanted them to kick me out so i cud live with you lol [we'll live together soon, dont worry ;) ]

Thats all i can come up with for now, sorry if this blog post is a bit dodgy or bleary its- partly becoz im tired, and partly because im having too much fun watching this new show i love called 'The I.T Crowd'- its so dam funny!!!

Love you all,


Thursday, December 3, 2009

time for an update :)


right here in mboy's house, having the time of my life with the love of my life. :)
umm yeah i was going to make a post called "Bitboy's Great Escape" that would detail my whole escape plan to get here, but it is tooo ingenious to reveal. :P
anywayz, i just wanted to put it out there that mboy is the greatest guy in the world (you all know that lol), he deserves happiness and im glad, and am truly gifted, to be the one who truly gives him that. Things did get fucked up, but im glad im here now and everything is going along perfectly between us. :) The trip here was definitely the most exciting time of my life, but full of nerves from both ends- especially the 3 hour train trip! Its such a relief being able to actually hug him rather than send it via text/online chat. :)

Last of all. Screw the parents! I'll have to face it eventually, but right now im enjoying myself too much to worry about that crap. They have to learn that i love who i want to love and i cant help my feelings for someone, especially if they try to force me out.

So yeah, me and mboy are well and happy with each other (for now) and hopefully things stay that way :)

Thanks for all the support you people have given me here, it helped/motivated me to make this trip and i have no regrets! :D
Love you all <3

Monday, November 23, 2009

wtf happened on saturday night

Okay, you all hate me, im a fuckwit, i did the most hurtful thing in the world, but i am trying to redeem myself and try to understand that please.

I called mboy recently on sunday and i explained it all to him over the phone, heart to heart, and he understands. We fixed things, i still love him and he still loves me and he knows i did NOT send that text with a smiley face. He was incredibly hurt on saturday night/sunday morning and i knew he was, but the family wouldnt let me call him, chat with him, msn him or do ANYTHING to contact him whatsoever and i was the only guy who could change how he felt on that night. He needed to know that i loved him, that i was going through a lot of shit at that point from the family and counsellor. We spent hours at that appointment with a counsellor blasting and labelling me as a 'pedophile' or 'predator' and he called me it so much that i started to believe it...
Okay now things are 10x difficult with dad taking my phone away, but i dont care i will keep contact with mboy somehow ;)
Continuing on with the story (from internet cafe)...
So yeah, things are fucked up with the counsellor calling me all this crap, and telling me stories about people going to jail for it, and not stopping with it until im seriously down and it looks like im breaking up with mboy to him and my mum =/
He even went to the point of telling my mum to check with the police whether mboy was who he says he is :O but iv trusted mboy all along :P
Okay so, when he was satisfied and knew i had been through enough, we paid him $100 for his bullcrap and i was taken home. There i was forced to do a break-up final text with mboy, with mum and my stupid brother watching. A series of texts followed, and then they took my frigin phone away. We went to dinner and then we got back and my brother was in shock coz he had my phone and saw all these really saddening texts coming from mboy. I was as low as you can go at that point, i never wanted to hurt mboy. I yelled and screamed for msn or something just so i could talk to mboy, but noooo im not allowed the internet or my phone.
My silly brother sent in a text to mboy with SOME of my words, but he added in smileys and shit and then sent it, that was the killing blow that REALLY hurt mboy. I was far from happy about the whole thing, i was PISSED OFF and so down all night but mboy thought i was cheerful/content about the whole thing and i dont blame him because thats the way the texts seemed :(. A very disturbing call from my brother to mboy came and i just had to grab that phone and talk to mboy, i hear mboys sad replies and knew id fucked things up and hurt him, i had my brother and mum watching and i was just so screwed up i said stupid things.
Forgive me mboy, i never meant to hurt you like this.
The next day, there were a series of texts and eventually a call and we talked things through and i apologised as best i could. There was still plenty of love between us and we were both hurting by not talking to each other or being with each other, we had to keep it going. And now things move forward....
And thats about it. Thx for hearing my side of the story.