Monday, November 23, 2009

wtf happened on saturday night

Okay, you all hate me, im a fuckwit, i did the most hurtful thing in the world, but i am trying to redeem myself and try to understand that please.

I called mboy recently on sunday and i explained it all to him over the phone, heart to heart, and he understands. We fixed things, i still love him and he still loves me and he knows i did NOT send that text with a smiley face. He was incredibly hurt on saturday night/sunday morning and i knew he was, but the family wouldnt let me call him, chat with him, msn him or do ANYTHING to contact him whatsoever and i was the only guy who could change how he felt on that night. He needed to know that i loved him, that i was going through a lot of shit at that point from the family and counsellor. We spent hours at that appointment with a counsellor blasting and labelling me as a 'pedophile' or 'predator' and he called me it so much that i started to believe it...
Okay now things are 10x difficult with dad taking my phone away, but i dont care i will keep contact with mboy somehow ;)
Continuing on with the story (from internet cafe)...
So yeah, things are fucked up with the counsellor calling me all this crap, and telling me stories about people going to jail for it, and not stopping with it until im seriously down and it looks like im breaking up with mboy to him and my mum =/
He even went to the point of telling my mum to check with the police whether mboy was who he says he is :O but iv trusted mboy all along :P
Okay so, when he was satisfied and knew i had been through enough, we paid him $100 for his bullcrap and i was taken home. There i was forced to do a break-up final text with mboy, with mum and my stupid brother watching. A series of texts followed, and then they took my frigin phone away. We went to dinner and then we got back and my brother was in shock coz he had my phone and saw all these really saddening texts coming from mboy. I was as low as you can go at that point, i never wanted to hurt mboy. I yelled and screamed for msn or something just so i could talk to mboy, but noooo im not allowed the internet or my phone.
My silly brother sent in a text to mboy with SOME of my words, but he added in smileys and shit and then sent it, that was the killing blow that REALLY hurt mboy. I was far from happy about the whole thing, i was PISSED OFF and so down all night but mboy thought i was cheerful/content about the whole thing and i dont blame him because thats the way the texts seemed :(. A very disturbing call from my brother to mboy came and i just had to grab that phone and talk to mboy, i hear mboys sad replies and knew id fucked things up and hurt him, i had my brother and mum watching and i was just so screwed up i said stupid things.
Forgive me mboy, i never meant to hurt you like this.
The next day, there were a series of texts and eventually a call and we talked things through and i apologised as best i could. There was still plenty of love between us and we were both hurting by not talking to each other or being with each other, we had to keep it going. And now things move forward....
And thats about it. Thx for hearing my side of the story.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Keeping up to speed

Fellow blogsters/followers/friends,

Its been alright lately, things have calmed a bit on the family front and, if you must know, I've booked the flight to see mboy :)
But all that aside, I am really worried about these A+ certification exams I gotta sit before I leave :S. I've heard they aren't too hard but you get different questions each time you sit it, it is costly to resit, and you have to book your own test- and im afraid to book it because I dont think im near ready for it just yet. The thing I dont like about it is im stuck between booking it and not being ready, or not booking it and then forgetting all the stuff I've learnt over the past 3 weeks. Jeez exams suck =/ Just gotta pull my head in, cram this stuff in and sit the exams ASAP.
Its been getting harder to keep the blog going with my dad taking the computers away because of my brother and sister (and possibly my) computer habits ;) so im blogging from his office at the moment and i'll try to keep the blogging up to speed from now on :)

Adios, Love ya all <3

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Night i came out

Firstly, Apologies for the slow blog posting, just been busy with college and computers, you fellow geeks know what i mean :P

Whilst im at college with nothing to do- here it is, the night I came out

So, a few nights ago, i was sitting at the computer doing my usually msn sessions, hotmail, checking blogs and maybeee playing a game. My brother already knew that i was bi and was having a relationship with a guy but hadnt told any1 until that exact moment. He opens his mouth (he never stops) and blurts out I was chatting with mboy, and it wasnt ur regular friendly chat like you would have with a normal friend.

All of a sudden, mum and my sister pounce on me like im some criminal; and then come the stories.
Oh the stories....
"Gay people commit suicide" (my mums massouse committed suicide and he was gay)
"All my gay friends are unhappy" (my sister has quite a few)
"All gay people do is take advantage of people" (mum again worrying)
"You're seeing the psychologist again" (get real)
"Im calling your father! (calls my dad then he yells at me, whats new)"
"You're NOT flying down to melbourne" (yes i am you cant stop me)"
Dad tells me its illegal, mum tells me its crazy, and my brother has a long chat with me when im trying to sleep about all the rude stuff he has done with girls to try to make me change my mind, though nothing will.
The next day i visit dad and he takes my phone, deletes mboys number and allll the texts and doesnt give it back to me; but i managed to get it back and store mboy again so everythings fine now =)

So from what you can see here, everyone in my family hates me for what i want to do and where i want to go in life, and i couldnt give a crap because i choose my own path.
I hope no bi or gay people out there have their whole family hating them and get to make their own decisions/choices in life like i am. Dad may have finally accepted it after a long tearful conversation i had with him.

Love you all, and sorry for the delay. <3

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Life as it is now

Okayyy lets get this party started!

Soooo, thanks all for the kind comments/first thoughts of my blog, it will continue I promise :)

Firstly, considering most my followers here are from mirrorboys blog, I'd like to mention that I am planning to fly down to meet him in december, fingers crossed it goes well :).

Just thought in my second post, i'd tell you a bit more about me, to intrigue my readers ;) after this post I promise I will get into the nitty gritty but not much has been going on at the moment lol :) So here goes:

- I am second oldest in the family to an older sister, and one younger annoying brother.
- My parents are divorced (have been for about 5-6 years), which sets the platform for some bad experiences I've had in the past.
- I type 'lol' wayyyy too much, fortunately I dont say it aloud :).
- I only considered computers as a career when I was 15 years old, when I was younger I wanted to be a professional gamer ^_^ lol
- I find it hard to study, which is a normal thing?
- I should be studying for my certification exams right now =/ I am currently studying to be certified in A+ (601 and 602), SDA and Config XP, MCP- MS Server 2003, Linux (although im thinking of doing MCSE instead, career guidance plssss).
- If there is a computer game out there, chances are I've played or heard of it, which isnt a good thing lol.
- I love staying up to watch cricket like the ashes (unfortunately we lost), and like staying up to watch tennis/rugby league too.
- I have extremely inconsistent sleeping habits. Whenever im at my friends place on a saturday night, I end up sleeping 1-4 hours and waking up not tired :O.
- I am a shy guy, which is probably why I make friends online mostly.
- I've had 1 job before, at maccas, and hated it to bits, but the experience is valuable so thats all that matters.
- Im a massive nintendo fan, got nearly all the consoles but barely play them anymore (except with friends) :O.
- Only been on a date once.
- I cried after graduation from school last a bit of an emotional guy at times and I didnt necessarily like most of my year group.
- I have a facebook, myspace, msn, aim, gmail and email :).
- I have certificate II and III in Information Technology, but this doesnt mean anything when you apply for a job unless you have experience in the industry (couldnt even help me get a job at the local computer store :O).
- I have had 1 boyfriend in the past, but no real experiences with girls.
- I make random comments, or ask stupid questions at times.

Sorry, that's about all I can come up with for now, the rest of it is mainly on my profile anyway :) Love you all, I'll keep in touch! <3

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

My First ever blog post


So, like many before me, I have decided to start a blog. My name is Bitboy and I am 19 years old. I live in Sydney, NSW, Australia and am bisexual, which means I like two sides of the coin :). Reading other blogs like mirrorboysblog has inspired me to put out there my own experiences and struggles in my life (btw im in love with mboy, love youuu <3).
I would also like to mention, because I am an open guy, that lately I have been playing a computer game called KnightOnline- I have often poured all my bad days of boredom into escaping into this amazing game world and it is here where I TRULY met Mirrorboy, or should I say Keeby, my current boyfriend- we love each other lots :). The gaming world has always been somewhere to go to when I have been down and want to escape the real world.

I love computers, mboy, games, music and sports like rugby league, tennis, cricket, the whole lot really- anything that doesnt bore me to bits. Speaking of bits, a bit is short for Binary digIT, 8 bits make 1 byte; bet you didnt know that lol. So from what I've demonstrated there, I'm a bit of a computer geek.

Ever since I jumped on a computer as a young kid, computers have amazed me and this is why I am currently studying at an I.T college to become a Computer Technician. This job excites me because computers are ever changing, therefore the role will never become redundant and is secure as long as you keep learning along the way. Enough with the computer jargon, I know your local I.T store give you a gutful of it :P

I dont intend on becoming famous here, nor do I expect anyone to read what I post here. I simply want to put out there my everyday thoughts and feelings and hopefully make some friends :).

Thankyou for reading my intro, love you all <3